Posted on

We Are Not Your Superwomen: On Black Women Saving America From Itself


In the wake of Democrat Doug Jones’ stunning Senate win in Alabama last night, black women again demonstrated our ability to show up and rescue the country from gross moral turpitude. Exit returns show that over 98% of Alabama’s black women voters cast their votes for Jones, ushering him on to victory by the narrowest of margins. This is similar to black women’s overwhelming support for Hillary Clinton in the 2016 presidential election, although that election (due to the electoral college) had a very different outcome. The truth is that black women have a very long and storied history of trying to save America from itself.

While the Constitution still declared black people three-fifths human, Harriet Tubman delivered black people into freedom, and sometimes at the muzzle of a gun. When the earliest forms of American feminism centered itself around white women’s desire to vote, it was Sojourner Truth who famously said, “Ain’t I a woman?” and wondered aloud why the female suffrage movement depended on her voice, but would not fight for her vote. Though black men first won the franchise by virtue of the 15th Amendment, it wouldn’t be until the Voting Rights Act of 1965 that the right to vote would be extended to black women. Ida B. Wells and Anna Julia Cooper rest among the black women in history who did the intellectual, emotional, and physical labor for American feminism while only white women enjoyed its spoils in their lifetimes.

If you want to know what a mainstream moral opinion will be 50 or 100 years from now, ask a black woman today. Black women are always light years ahead of America’s present moral compass. Consider, for example, the popular “Me’ Too” movement, which puts the spotlight on sexual harassment and sexual assault. While white women like Alyssa Milano, Ashley Judd, and Gretchen Carlson have been credited as heroines of the movement, it was a black woman, Tarana Burke, who first created the hashtag to call awareness to the pervasiveness of sexual abuse in our culture. Yet, per usual, the first beneficiaries of the intellectual or cultural movement first ignited or championed by black women are not black women ourselves.

Even before Tarana Burke, there was Anita Hill, who famously faced the whitest, most powerful, most testosterone-laden institution in American history–the U.S. Senate–to give her account of the sexual harassment she endured at the hands of now Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. One by one, Senators took turns ripping her reputation to shreds, while Joe Biden, who then chaired the Senate Judiciary Committee, simply let them. It’s important to note that Thomas went on to be seated on the Supreme Court (where he still sits today), Biden went on to become vice president of the United States (and enjoys broad support in the black and feminist communities today). Anita Hill, on the other hand, suffered numerous career setbacks and acts of persecution stemming from her 1991 testimony against Thomas. In the late 90s, political resentment about her Senate testimony forced her from her position at the University of Oklahoma’s College of Law. At the time, David L. Boren served as the University’s president. However, in 1991, he was a senator who sat on the Judiciary Committee and voted to confirm Clarence Thomas. Hill even received a harassing phone call from Thomas’ wife nearly 20 years after her testimony, demanding that she apologize for having testified against him. David Brock authored a book entitled “The Real Anita Hill” that painted Hill in a very critical light. Brock later recanted much of the negative information he had written about her, but the damage to Hill’s reputation had been done. Fastfoward 26 years later, every white  woman who lives to see her abuser held accountable in the “Me Too” movement owes Hill a debt of gratitude, because she said “me, too” before the cultural zeitgeist had shifted to believing women and holding powerful men accountable.

Anita Hill during 1991 Senate testimony

So why do black women repeatedly find ourselves ahead of the curve on cultural and political issues? Why do we continually lay the groundwork that others benefit from long before we do? Is it because we relish living up to the strong black woman trope? Do we enjoy setting tables that others will eat from before us? Of course not. As black women we often find ourselves at the intersection of multiple marginalized identities, so our efforts to reduce the burden of any aspect of our identity is an effort in self-care. If a storm is brewing, we build a shelter for ourselves, even if we are the last ones to enter it.

While America lags behind on issues of social and economic justice, black women continue to be ahead of our time waiting for the rest of the country to catch up to where we were a generation ago. However, let us remind policymakers that our support is not unconditional and automatic. Let us make demands on lawmakers that prioritize our needs. Now, in the wake of Doug Jones’ Democratic victory in a deep red state, black women hold important cards in terms of setting the Democratic Party’s policy agenda.

Though the rest of the country might think so, we are not superwomen. We cannot continue to do the heavy lifting of America’s moral consciousness without equitable recompense.  The empty applause and you go girls that Alabama black women are receiving for rescuing their state (and themselves) from Roy Moore aren’t the same as equitable treatment in terms of public policy. Black women in rural Alabama, for example, have higher food insecurity and higher infant mortality rates than their white counterparts. Their policy needs for better food accessibility and prenatal care are evident, yet continue to go unaddressed. Here’s hoping that Alabama’s black women, and black women in general, leverage our political capital to advance our interests going forward.

 

 

 

 

Posted on

Stop Being a Strong Black Woman

“All my life, I had to fight.” If you’re like me and eleventy million other black women, you recognize that quote as the immortal words of Sophia from The Color Purple. Depending on our mood, the line can hit us as funny, sad, or thought-provoking. But it’s always relatable. Sophia was a strong black woman, something most of us are raised to be and held out as the most aspirational form of our humanity. She could take a punch as well as she could give one. She could out-sass anyone without fear of words cutting her back. She could raise children with little or no help from the father of said children. She could even tolerate her husband’s mistress Squeak confronting her as if she were the side chick.

 oprah sofia oprah winfrey strong women the color purple GIF

It’s ingrained in us from the time we are little girls that we have to be strong black women, because the world is so cruel, and we need to be able to endure. But being a strong black woman is setting us up for failure, and in some cases, it’s literally killing us. We can’t afford to do it anymore. The strong black woman trope has us out here lowering our expectations, killing our dreams, and suffering in silence.

 Every one of us knows a “strong black woman” who is raising kids alone, or working herself to the bone for a boyfriend or adult son who can’t be bothered to get off the couch. We even know “strong black women” who are sadly suffering in silence while they protect an abuser.

 Strength is often a character trait that we develop out of necessity and trauma. We build up our strength as a thick barrier to protect ourselves, but often that barrier is built at the expense of other parts of our humanity. And we’re often guilted into thinking that our strength is  only for everyone else to lean on.

 Many of us spend years getting educations or developing our careers, but are afraid to ask for parity in mates because we don’t want to come off as snobbish or materialistic. Because heaven forbid that a black woman should ask a potential mate to come to the table with the same thing she does! We have all seen (or been) that sister who’s got it all together–attractive, smart, funny, kind, great job, education, and credit–but she’s with some bum who’s on his third baby mama, still trying to make it as a rapper at 40, or fresh out of prison. Yet she lets him use her credit card or lay up in her house without paying rent because she’s trying to be “supportive.”

 baby boy GIF

We know the “strong black woman” who shows up to church every Sunday, volunteers as an usher, and donates generously to every project the church undergoes, but doesn’t tell anyone that her lights are about to be shut off or that she hasn’t seen a doctor in years and the lump in her breast is suspicious. At her funeral, she’s eulogized as a virtual angel, but the room would fall silent if  one were to ask if the pastor or the deacon board ever checked in on her when they noticed she stopped coming to service months ago.

We know the “strong black woman” who is a single mom and bends over backwards to take care of her kids. She proudly (and often counterintuitively) proclaims that she “don’t need a man for anything.” When she finds herself pregnant and the child’s father uninterested in being a parent, she marches on without missing a beat, even though such a life is incredibly thankless and frustrating. 

 baby mama baby momma GIF

We also know the “strong black woman” who works tirelessly at her job. Perhaps she’s trained her last three supervisors or she put together the presentation that landed the big account and never got credit for it. When she’s passed over for promotions in favor of lesser qualified, white or male colleagues, she just works harder and adopts Olivia Pope’s “twice as good” mantra, hoping for a sliver of recognition the next time around.

Image result for olivia pope twice as good gif


Sometimes the strong black woman trope literally kills us. According to the CDC, black women are twice as likely to be killed by intimate partner violence than white, Asian, and Hispanic women. Black women in abusive relationships often stay with their abusers for years.  They put on a brave face and suffer in silence, not telling anyone what they are going through. They are afraid to call the police not only because of fear of retribution from their abusive partner, but because there is pressure from within the black community to protect black men from exposure to the criminal justice system. This is rooted in the very real knowledge that black men are over-prosecuted and over-penalized for offenses in the criminal justice system. But, this also means that black men who are predators can operate with impunity for years. Malcolm X once said, “The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman.” The reflex in the black community is often to protect men before women and children. Think I’m lying? Ask yourself how many black girls and women have accused R. Kelly of rape and other abuses over the last 20 years. Then ask yourself why so many people think that all those black women and girls are making it up. 

I want us to challenge ourselves to abandon the toxic trope of being a strong black woman. We are strong, yes, but we are also fragile, vulnerable, feminine, and deserving of support, joy, and a soft place to land when we face life’s challenges. What would our lives look like if we simply said no to people who drained us of our time, money, and energy, but gave nothing in return? How much better would we sleep if we knew we didn’t have to be all things to all people, all the time? How much easier would life be if we could simply tell someone that we were hurting and have that matter to them?

Black women, we cry, we break down, we suffer, and we hurt just like everyone else. We have to stop letting others deny us the fullness of our humanity under the guise of being a strong black woman. That phrase isn’t a compliment and shouldn’t be a goal. It’s a trick–and we should stop falling for it.